You’re running around, chasing after your kids, your To Do Lists, even your own tail.
You want more time to relax and enjoy your life. You wish desperately to revive your spirit, re-energize your body, re-ignite the passion with your partner, reconnect with your kids in fun, loving ways.
Enough bickering about homework and housework. Enough rushing to get out of the house in the morning, to ball practice in the afternoon, to bed in the evening. Enough worrying and arguing about clean laundry and dishes and bedrooms.
You really love nature walks or going out dancing or staying at home quilting or long, hot bubble baths. You’d love to have more of that in your life, BUT…
What’s the biggest “but” that gets in your way?
If you’re like most busy, caring parents that I coach, your biggest “but” probably sounds something like this: “I’d really like to, but… there’s just not enough time.” Not enough time for what matters most. What a tragic lie we tell ourselves.
There’s plenty of time. Everyday. Every week. Every year. Every moment. There’s plenty of time when you:
1. Remain aware of and focused on what really matters to you.
2. Accept the responsibility for choosing how you spend your time.
3. Act in alignment with your top priorities and values.
So let’s start today with the simple, yet profound question: “What matters most in your life?” Here’s a list of several major life areas that you need to function in:
1. Finances and Wealth
2. Job and Career
3. Environment and Surroundings
4. Possessions and Belongings
5. Physical Health and Well-being
6. Mental Health and Well-being
7. Family Relationships
8. Friends & Community Relationships
9. Society and Media
Okay, quick. Sort these 9 items into 3 groups of 3 each. Label the 3 groups: (A) More Important, (B) Important, and (C) Less Important. Don’t overthink this. Just be honest and go with your heart or gut. And understand, this is how you feel now, in this moment. You’re allowed to change your mind tomorrow, or next month, or next year. Things change. But now, in this moment, become more aware of what matter more. And sort the list into three groups.
I really want to encourage you to engage in this little exercise for two minutes. See what rises to the surface.
Now, within the “A” group, go ahead and rate each of these three items: (1) More Important, (2) Important, (3) Less Important. Do the same for groups “B” and “C” if you like.
What you’ve just done is a “Q-Sort” activity that can be put to good use for the big dilemmas in your life, or the daily priority list, or even a shopping list. Brainstorm the areas of your life that you need to address.
You can’t do it all? Join the club. Accept that as true. Get real with yourself. And realize that if the end of the day (or your life) comes up suddenly, you want to have spent your time on those things that mattered more, not less. Yes?!
So go ahead and prioritize them into groups A, B, and C. Then sort within each group, 1, 2, 3…
Now, with your new-found awareness of what matters most right now in your life (Item A-1), consider how you’re doing in that area. What would you like more of in that aspect of your life. Think about it. Write it down. Speak it to loved ones or a support person. Start to focus on what you want more of in your life, and why. Why is that so important to you? Get clear on what matters most to you right now, and why.
When your “Why” is bigger than your “But”, then you’ll be able to begin moving forward and fulfilling that dream, that need, that burning desire.
Your first step is to be aware and appreciate that. Then reflect, pray, meditate, recite an affirmation, make an inspirational note, poster, or vision board for yourself. Put that thing front and center in your life – in a real, practical way. Inspirational reminders.
Then make a commitment to do one small step about that most important thing – today. One small step. Whatever it is. Think it. Write it down. Tell someone. And then, JUST DO IT.
Get up tomorrow morning, and do the same thing. Focus on what matters most, and take “One small step for man, one giant step for mankind.” One small step for this parent, one giant step for this family.
Keep on focusing, keep on going. And feel good that you’re actually spending some time on what matters most. Appreciate your choices. Enjoy your life and kids – one day, one moment, one choice at a time.
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