It’s the holiday season and the end of the year. A time for celebration and reflection. Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa – celebrations all about bringing light and love back into the world.
In our house we enjoy many Christmas traditions, ones that strengthen our family bonds across the generations and across the miles. Our children, some grown now and some still growing, all look forward to coming together every Christmas to repeat rituals that we’ve received from grandparents, that we’ve created ourselves over the years, and that we look forward to passing on to our grandchildren someday.
Christmas eve begins with the annual family photo in front of the tree before we head off to church services (where my wife takes her beautiful singing voice out of hiding to join in the Christmas Choir concert). We come home to a fancy candle-lit dinner of seafood newburg and asparagus, before changing into comfy pajamas for our sacred bedtime routine.
The whole family piles onto the living room couch (increasingly challenging over the years!). Mom reads the kids the bible story of Jesus’s birth, and our youngest places the baby Jesus in the manger of the crèche scene. Then Dad reads “Twas the Night Before Christmas” to the kids (just like my dad did every year), and we all hang our stockings over the fireplace.
The kids have written Santa a letter, and put it out with the milk and cookies, along with carrots for the reindeer. (Morning will undoubtedly reveal missing carrots, an empty glass, and cookie crumbs – a sure sign that a certain gift-giving elf had indeed visited in the night.) Then they head into bedrooms with closed doors for their own little sibling rituals that they’ve created on their own over the years, before drifting off to sleep.
Christmas morning begins with our four children on the stairwell, singing a hearty rendition of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas!” to awaken their bleary-eyed parents. We join the kids and all head into the living room together to see if St. Nicholas has blessed the children with gifts for being “nice” this year. They typically discover one unwrapped gift from Santa that they play with for a bit, before emptying their treat-filled stockings, then opening a few wrapped “Santa gifts” and enjoying those awhile.
We feast on a delicious breakfast of eggs, bacon, tangerines, and the holiday homemade breads from recipes handed down over several generations (date nut, cranberry, banana). Then we go back into the living room to give each other family gifts – always giving from youngest to oldest (don’t ask me why!). Finally, we open cards and packages from relatives and friends.
We savor each of these little rituals, taking most of the day, and staying in our pajamas the whole time – just playing and resting and snacking on treats. No formal dinner, so Mom can enjoy the day with the kids without so much time in the kitchen. As dusk arrives, I always take a couple-hour hike up and around our mountain woods – enjoying the gift of God’s natural world regardless of the weather. Phone calls to family far away, and more enjoyment of new games, books, or movies complete the evening, before falling asleep by the fire listening to a special recording of Dylan Thomas’s “A Child’s Christmas in Wales” narrated by a favorite uncle.
Interestingly, the specific details seem to matter even more to our kids as they get older, wanting to keep a cherished portion of their childhood alive – living and breathing and continuing. We all want to know that our family – with all its imperfections and struggles, still means something. And that something is a sense of belonging. It’s security and support, undying loyalty and acceptance – regardless of circumstances or dispositions. It’s love, pure and simple. And it endures. Our holiday rituals help cement this important value into our hearts as well as our memory banks.
My holiday wish for you this year is to be mindful of your family traditions. Enjoy and cherish them. Keep them alive – with a twist. Be sure to incorporate change as part of your traditions, to allow room for your family to grow and breathe and thrive. Perhaps consciously choose to do one little thing new or different each year, or make the conscious choice to accept a change that has been given to you.
Our children are precious gifts of love, and they will always continue to grow and change. Just as we have left the nest of our parent’s homes, but have carried favorite traditions and fond memories with us, let us give that same gift to our children – with grace. Let us rejoice both in keeping our family traditions alive, and in being alive to new opportunities for sweet, shared memories yet to come.
In so doing, we honor the true meaning of all the world’s religious and cultural practices this time of year – finding the light of love in the darkness of winter, and celebrating the gift of life prevailing.
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