More Precious Than Gold- Measuring your family’s true wealth

by admin on November 24, 2009

Gold is soaring in value to an all-time high right now.  People are nervous about their investments, whatever they may have left.  During this recession, as in other economic hard times, people flock to precious metals.  (Which I confess, strikes me as kind of absurd, but that’s another topic for another professional.)

Many families are struggling to make ends meet – and there is a growing consciousness about the true value of things.  Specifically, we are all increasing our awareness about what things we really need versus want, what things really matter, what things do we really value.

And when I work with families, or reflect on my own, it gets pretty clear pretty quickly.  The most important things in our life, of course, aren’t things at all.

Do you remember the overwhelming, trembling flood of gratitude and grace at the very moment of birth of your first child?  Or the second?  Or third?  Or fourth…?  I remember each and every one, and fill with tears involuntarily even now at the thought of those moments when the true miracle, and value, of human life was given to us.  How humbling to have a child’s life brought forth into this world, and into our hands.

How precious is this gift of life?!  Given to us to nurture and enjoy and appreciate and encourage and teach and love and let go… To pass on to the next generation of miracles, waiting in the heavens to emerge and renew life’s never ending circle.  And to think that we, too, were precious gifts to our parents, and they to their’s, and so on.

When we really stop to reflect on this gift of life, handed down continually through family after family, we can’t help but appreciate the real value of caring for our children in a way that will yield the greatest return on the greatest investment possible.

Now, for most of us, our families, like our economic fortunes, will not be without flaws.  We experience up and down times, moments of euphoria and heartache, with pain and suffering for some more than others.  Yet always, love will find a way through.  If we let it. If we open our hearts up to the reality that we are gifts of love, perfect just as we are, even with all our imperfections.  And so are our children.  And, yes, so are our parents, and our brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and neighbors.

There is no one perfect family formula.  Yet there are ways to maximize your R.O.I. for the family you have inherited.

“My experience is what I agree to attend to.”
– William James

Find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Laugh and sing and play with your kids, your spouse, your friends, yourself.  Why not?  This is not a dress rehearsal – this is your one, precious life.  You can’t get this day back – no takeovers – so might as well enjoy it.  You do have choice – not in everything that happens to you, but most certainly in how you respond. Choose happiness.  If that feels too ambitious, choose contentment.

If you find yourself getting anxious or angry or depressed, ask yourself, “Why am I choosing to have this experience?”  And choose differently. (Or keep blaming external circumstances and be miserable.)  This isn’t about becoming delusional and denying that there are problems.  It’s about accepting reality, and making the most of it anyway.

Easier said than done?  Perhaps, at first.  But like anything else, as you practice this, your conscious choice muscles will grow.  You can choose to respond calmly to adversity rather than react violently to it.  Take a deep breath, literally, and respond with self-soothing words, actions, and relationships.  When you fall off course, which we all do, acknowledge your mistake, and step back towards center – towards a loving heart.  Joy will follow.

Start each day with a prayer or mediation about how you wish to live your life today.  End each day with a brief reflection of what you most enjoyed that day, and what you’re most thankful for.  Don’t just nod as you read this and say, nice idea.  Do it!  Get a small journal or notebook, and jot down your intentions for the day each morning, and what you’re thankful for each evening.  (Recent research shows that keeping a daily gratitude journal can be highly effective at reducing depression and increasing optimism and positive moods.)

Five minutes, once or twice a day.  Write it down.  Okay, so you don’t do it perfectly, maybe you miss some days.  No sweat.  Start again the next day.  Keep it to yourself, or share it with a partner.  The days will go by, and slowly, over time, you’ll increase your awareness of the bountiful nature of family and friends surrounding you.

And what really matters – your family’s true wealth – will keep multiplying.

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